National Infertility Awareness Week 2017

Time heals all wounds, right?

Wrong.

Wounds might be easier to deal with. The pain slightly easier to bear.

But they are never truly healed.

Some days it just hits you and today was one of those days.

Our fertility struggle started more than 5 years ago. Our loss 1202 days ago. I’ve had two beautiful, healthy, happy children since then.

But that doesn’t change the loss and pain we endured to get here.

While the sadness and grief no longer consume me, there is a piece of my heart that still mourns that lost little love, each negative pregnancy test, each time I was told no or maybe next time.

Today was a normal day, as I loaded up the kids and left for our MOPs meeting (Moms of Preschoolers).

Today’s speaker spoke about her journey through infertility and loss. Her story was tragic and heartbreaking, something no one should have to go through. I sat there and cried with her.

After our speaker finished, we were provided discussion questions to use at our table.

Today, I heard several very brave women, share their stories of fertility struggles and losses. It humbled me to watch their bravery unfold. They shared their pain. Their battle.

When it was my turn to share, I was surprised when I had to stop and try (not very successfully) to regain some composure.

I’ve been quite open about what we’ve been through. It’s been awhile since I really talked about that blazing, joyous moment of finding out we were pregnant to that heart-wrenching, life altering moment when we weren’t.

I remember thinking to myself how weird it was that I was crying, I feel like I don’t usually cry when I talk about our journey anymore.

As I’ve shared our struggled throughout the last few years, I’ve spoken with quite a few people who struggled too, with infertility, secondary infertility or miscarriages. But being in a room with so many wonderful people, many of whom had this shared experience was empowering. Even through all of the accompanying sadness, it proved, again, I was not alone.

I’m not.

And you are not alone.

 

Listen up.

Don’t suffer in silence.

Check out Resolve to learn more about National Infertility Awareness Week and more available resources.

Infertility – No joking matter

I have seen a bunch of articles going around this last week, as April 1st is tomorrow so I decided this morning to make my own little post.

April 1st, considered in our society as a day of practical jokes.

When I was a kid it was innocent, sometimes funny but mostly stupid.

Now it’s sort of horrifying.

It’s nearly three years to do the day that my husband and I decided that we were ready financially and emotionally to start a family.

After one miscarriage and months worth of fertility treatment, we are truly lucky that we are expecting our first child in the next two months. And this is nothing compared to what many families go through.

But that doesn’t make all those awful feelings of infertility and loss diminish in the slightest.

To joke on April 1st by leading people to believe that you are pregnant is extremely hurtful to people like me. To people who struggle to, or absolutely cannot, have children.

What are you hoping to achieve exactly? You want 200 likes and 100 comments on your Facebook? Do something charitable. Do something to help better yourself or the world. Or if it’s that important to you to get a “laugh”  think of something better.

Last year my best friend, who has hair down to her butt (and has the entire time I’ve known her) got quite creative with a camera and posted a picture that truly made it look like she had cut off nearly all her hair. She definitely got some attention.

But did it make anyone sit at home crying? Not that I’m aware of.

Every action and decision you make has a consequence. But are all the comments that pop up on your phone going to provide solace for someone who just got another negative pregnancy test?

Unless it has happened to you, you will probably never understand this type of pain or grief. I hope for you that you never have to go through it. But please, don’t make what is already such a difficult experience worse just to find a little amusement.

To those struggling through infertility or loss right now, I am truly sorry. If you want to reach out and ask questions or look for support I know a few places you can go. Feel free to contact me here or at  theknnlife@gmail.com or find me on Facebook.